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Why should I go to Bear Valley University?
The best thing going for BVU is that the professors don't want to teach any more than you want to come to class. As long as you agree not to pester them during their "office hours", they'll agree not to pester you with foolish time-wasting things such as tests.
Will a degree from BVU help me get a job?
Come one now, do you think anybody actually checks those transcripts? We'll provide you with a shining diploma and a flawless transcript. Heck, for a small fee, we can even make sure you graduate cum laude, summa cum laude, or gee, you came laude. With credentials like that, only a FOOL would turn you down.
Some of BVU's methods and promises sound a little dicey--are you accredited?
Come on now, we don't go checking up on your background, do we? But, to be honest, BVU isn't accredited. Accreditation really only matters if you're going to school after graduation, and since you can graduate with a Ph.D. from BVU, why would you want to go elsewhere. Nobody in the real world says, "gee, these are nice grades, but were they at an accredited school", do they? Of course not!