One man's quest to plumb the depravity of the human condition.
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Summer 1999--Enter Dave Smith: In one of those odd discussions that you later can't quite recall how started, my co-worker DeeAnn and I were talking about the lack of good, high-quality clown porn on the internet. She and another co-worker of mine, the Archbishop Dave Smith then went on a similar pilgrimage to the internet that I had. This time, apparently, they'd found this particular treatise on HotBot. Time passed. From out of the blue I get this email from this guy Jeff who sounds like he may all but be me, living a couple of miles from here who knows many of the same folks, talking about the infamous Peep-off. I reply politely and a couple of weeks later I get this 'mail from the same guy saying, in essence, "hey, waitaminute--you're not the clown porn guy, are you?" Charlie Bill: upstanding member of the community, volunteer, clown porn guy. What sort of reputation was that fool Smith creating for me, anyways? This whole thing once again galvanized me to search anew, a year having gone by since my first search. Sure enough, I found another example of professional pornsters trying come up with a half-imaginative idea (the first sign something is wrong--we're not into pornos for the plot, man!) and corrupting the poor clown imagery. Dammit, this was not what I was looking for. Okay, I know that average, everyday, people are into all sorts of freaky ass shit in their personal lives: I've got HBO and have maybe flipped by Real Sex from time to time--momentarily of course. People don't have to get paid to lather themselves up with chocolate syrup or perform foreplay with torches, and role-playing has been around since before time recalls? |
| This is what I'd found on a recent fishing trip, censorship theirs: |
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Johnny Toxic - CLOWN FUCKERS $36.95 Description: This is an XXX clown rated sex documentary about Johnny Toxic's cousin, Putzo The Clown. This is the "true" story of his disgusting, nasty perverted life as a homeless hollywood clown walking the streets and f**king slutty street trash ho's wherever and whenever he can! Stuffing them with putzo choad and frosting them with funny goo! Join Putzo and his pals as they honk, bonk and toot the nastiest clown c*nts in Hollywood. |
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I did manage to find one kindred spirit out there with almost an identical story to tell, though his hunting expeditions had about the same results as mine. Through his page, however, I did manage to find the singular site that came closest to what I had envisioned (note that this link will take you to a site with content unsuitable for minors). I ran into the Archbishop at a No Kill I show recently. He'd left for the Bay Area a couple of months back so I hadn't seen him in a while. He came up to me and said "heyyyyyy*, I've got something for you." |