I buy a house, move and hope that the stigma of the Clown Porn will be left behind in my old white trash neighborhood. No such luck. No sooner than I have my first party than people are seeking out the tape. I feign ignorance, claiming it was lost in the move, though I have a vauge recollection at the time that it's probably in the back of my truck.

Come the annual Holiday party, I ask that peeps bring ornaments so I can trim my first ever tree. You may be wondering how clown porn and Christmas trees go together--I'll have to work on getting it scanned so you can see.

Then, in January I get the following email (well, mails, but I merged 'em)

And in the end, I wasn't sure which disturbed me more. Obviously Joey and I are connected to the same psychic channel, apparently playing clown porn and 60's Animal's songs in between infomercials. I wonder if he's got the "Dating Game Theme" stuck in his head too.

Now here's what's weird: I'd never gotten email from anybody except that Jeff guy from Rosemont (who's neighborhood I'm now in), and he'd come crusing in from another site of mine and had prior knowledge of all this. Nobody ever commented on the whole clown porn thing. So I get that one letter and then, out of the blue, I get another:

True to his word, Jeff came through with a number of photos (thanks Jeff!) They turned out to be from an issue of Playboy I saw like probably a decade ago. Don't ask me how I remember these things--it goes hand in hand with not being able to remember where I parked my car. Anyways, I realized that things were heating up and moved all this mess into its own location so my ISP can point at the whole mess and kick me off more conveniently. I do try to make people's life easier for them, after all. While I was working on this, I got the following mail:

Subject: Regarding Clown Porn... Date: Mon, 07 Feb 2000 17:45:13 -0800 From: Sean Perry <perry@Some UC School.edu> Hello, Oddly enough, I can across your page when I was doing my own search for pictures of a naked clown (hey...it's a slow day at work). Like you, I was distraught at the utter absence of this genre in adult entertainment. To date, I have seen three instances of clowns appearing in the "blue" media. One, the Johnny Toxic production you mention on your page. Two, a pictorial in a recent Club (or High Society) magazine featuring nude model superstar "Ashley" with and unnamed painted jester (I can find out exactly which issue if you'd like). And finally three...this movie here: It looks to be a very sensitive portrait indeed! The synopsis is far too long for me too cut and paste here, but if you would like to view it, simply visit the link below: http://search.excaliburfilms.com/moviepgs/sexlivesofclowns.htm Something very interesting about the genre (which you touch on on your page), is that the clown seems to be limited to being portrayed by men only. I have yet to see a picture or video of a female clown in the erotica category. Perhaps this is because most pornography is planned and developed by men. This would mean that the director/photographer does not have a carnal desire for the clown, yet instead somehow relates with him. Perhaps it is a comment on the masks we have to wear when being with somebody in such an intimate fashion. We think we have to hide our vulnerabilities and insecurities. We metaphorically paint a happy face on ourselves perhaps not to fool our partner, but ourselves. For if we don't believe it ourselves, how can we expect the women to? I'm telling you, this is some powerful stuff! Good luck on your future searches. Sincerely, Sean Perry p.s. when you want to do a search, and you want to avoid the "Asian teen midget piercing she-males" type sites, I found that a simple -"pamela" gets rid of a vast majority or the unwanted seedy site. Our course, you risk missing a picture of a naked clown lady who goes by Pamela as well...but I guess that's the risk you have to take.

I think Jeff got a little too introspective while wasting his time on the search engines. Actually, the video he mentioned was the same one the Archbishop Dave Smith gave me back for my birthday. I meant to add it in the overhaul, but Sean saved me the effort.

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