You can almost hear the stains of "Oh, Canada" playing in the background of this one...
Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 07:17:17 PDT
From: Don --------
Subject: Fuck Americanism..............Fuck Militarism..........
Hey........
Just a few comments.....(I wouldn't want to overload your American attention span, I'll let you go back to your CNN propaganda and school yard shootings.)
Why do you Americans insist on bombing defenceless nations into the ground? Is it to gain international recognition as a bullies picking on someone fifty years less advanced? Really now....Canada is not a utopia.....It is a hard country with hard land and the survivors are tough, strong-willed individuals. Toronto is the finest city on this planet and is the most muticultural city on Earth. Are you Americans aware that there is a constant debate within Canadian borders to eliminate all American influences(I mean contamination) from Canadian society? We don't need you. You need us to set a real level of peace and tranquility in the world. Only then can the human race continue to evolve....Your country will fall. It happened to Rome, it happened to Britain and it will happen to you....
If World War III broke out tommorrow, I would rather die than fight along side with your nation. (To quote an "All-American band, Strung Out, describing their own country," "'Cause your war's not about policy-religion. It's about economy and I'm not dying to set your country free!"
To my Canadian brothers,
Kick back, have a Molson Canadian and
flip on the Maple Leafs, Blue Jays or
Open Mike with Mike Bullard.
Show these fucking Americans that Canada is not a puppet
of a war crazy nation.
He does, however, seem to overlook a singular flaw in his philosophy though:
To: Don Guiseppe
Subject: Re: Fuck Americanism..............Fuck Militarism..........
On Wed, 30 Jun 1999, Don Guiseppe wrote:
> Are you Americans aware that there is a constant debate within
> Canadian borders to eliminate all American influences(I mean
> contamination) from Canadian society? We don't need you.
Great. Please make sure in the future to use a _CANADIAN_ free email service, okay? Oh, and be sure to give back our Internet technology while you're at it too. Thanks.
Charlie Bill,
N!C
People have said that the Modern American Youth has lost the dream of previous generations, that they are disaffected and apathetic. I'm glad to see that there are a few glowing examples to prove them wrong.
Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 14:05:27 -0500 (EST)
From: rjonnal@XXXXXXX.edu
Subject: canadians
I see you're an anti-Canadian too. I'm putting together a petition here in Bloomington, Indiana, to get a referendum on the 2000 ballot that the residents of Bloomington officially recognize Canada as the northernmost county of Minnesota.
This guy was real lucky that I was A) skiing and B) way too drunk to drive up there and give him the American ass-kicking he so richly deserved, sending me this e-mail on the most patriotic of American holidays. I didn't send him any crap on "Canada Day", did I? By the way, it's probably a good thing I didn't get this until after the fourth--some Canadian on the ski lift with me told his American companion that he wasn't going to give him any Kleenex because his friend was American. I almost launched the dude from 60 feet. This email would have been the last straw.
From: "L.Wiebe"
Date: Sun, 4 Jul 1999 23:16:23 -0700
Subject: None
hows it goin ehh
we are a peaceful people
exept when it comes to FUCKING AMERICAN BASTARDS
that is why it seem like we are not so nice to you
if you came from any other country we would embrace them with open arms
we are very differnt in history from you
we never massacerd indians
we didnt beat slaves like you
the 2 wars that we had with you we kicked your bottocks
now i know not all americans are bastards
we are more free than your people are
our country cares about its people
we dont have to carry guns like you
and almost all other nationalities agree
people hate america but they love canada
so i will be expecting a letter of apoligy from you soon
Needless to say, the letter of "apoligy" won't be coming any time in the forseeable future.
Christ, this one is evil!
Date: Wed, 07 Jul 1999 00:41:02 -0400
From: Paula --------
Subject: The Evil Empire
To the Nation Beneath Canada:
Well it's certainly nice to see that some Americans can read and write!! I was most impressed with your website...although somewhat primitive, it has demonstrated that some ppl from the States have a basic grasp of technology and aren't too ignorant about us "igloo-dwelling-dog-sledding-aliens". I rather enjoy your base understanding of what is quite possibly the best nation on earth. More to the point, I what the Americans do for the Canadian economy. Just now, actually, I am watching "your" t.v. on my satellite--isn't technology great--free of charge!! See you are your own worst enemy, not us. By coming to our country, including us in NATO and UN commitments, making it easy for us to cross the border, access American currency, memorbila, etc., fuels our understanding of your country and the ways in which we can take it over. You are right to be weary of us. Shall I say we have the perfect facade...we appear outwardly a backward, small nation with little power and no unity...but isn't that how Hitler and Stalin started out? Just something to consider...in the meantime, besides providing me with free cable, you have also been most entertaining...thank you for the amusement...
A Friendly Canadian
p.s. I enclosed a picture of us "aliens" just so you can give a more accurate description of us in your website!! (left to right: me, my cousin and my sister).
The picture she sent me:
Apparently three is the bag limit up there. The owner of the Ford really should tie them down: nothing like getting a good kill like that and losing them off the hood. Them's good eatin'!
Dude, what's up with all these Canuck chicks writing me all of a sudden? This one didn't send me anything, though :( For the record, I'd never heard of "The Canadian Conspiracy", nor did the IMDB turn it up, though it did turn up this.
Date: Sun, 11 Jul 1999 23:51:06 -0400
From: W.A.
Subject: Your website
Hi,
I'm thinking you've seen "The Canadian Conspiracy" one too many times. Am I right? I liked your webpage, got a good laugh out of it. Especially the bit about the French Canadians. I do have a comment though. Women going around topless is a "shocking slap in the face of morality"? LOL Right. As if the average American male would have a problem with seeing bare breasted women walking around! You're too funny. Also, the population of Canada is 30 million. Our numbers are growing ... you can't stop us!!!
Yours, counting the hours until the invasion (oops! never mind, forget I
Wendy
said anything!),
(A proud Canadian)
Hmmm....30 million. Must be all those bare-breasted women walking around. Maybe I just need to see those topless women to fully appreciate them...
Stop the insanity! More mail!