I was cleaning out my email recently and came across a couple of emails from presumably the same guy who is apparently one of those Americans that the Canadians keep running across:
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 23:25:00 -0400
From: Steimes [Steimes@xxxxxxx.com]
Subject: Don't capotize canada
I've have been reading your page for quite some time and I've noticed one flaw you capatilze canada. No true Anti-canadan would don't give them that much respect respond to this e-mail to steimes@xxx.com. Please don't give in to canada's serct plot to give them dignaty.
Brian "bever squisher" Steimer
...proving that a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Don't worry Brian--I knew that you couldn't read very quickly so I was sure to type it extra slow. Just for you.
Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 22:32:11 EDT
From: SmashYourPumkins@XXX.com
Subject: Why ru insiting on capolising canada
If you were a true anti-candain you wouldn't capitalize the word canada, it just isn't right. That is all I have to say.
Yeah, okay Forest. "That's all I have to say about that". Shrimp creole, shrimp scampi, shrimp stew, shrimp kebobs. That reminds me of the English Donner kebabs. Dang those were tasty, as long as you told 'em to be light on the sauce. Pretty cool setup really--bars close, trucks come out, drunks get to eat trashy food as they walk home. Almost made the fact that the bars closed at 11 tolerable.
Here's another one from the Charlie Bill lost letter department. You may be asking "Charlie Bill, how did you lose all this stuff in July, and why are you finding it now?" Lets just say I was getting considerably more action in July than I am now, okay? Anywho, back then homeboy wrote:
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 18:33:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: Richard --- [god31329@xxxxx.com]
Your fuckin crazy, but you got some points. Canada went into WWI and WWII before we did. They fought for freedom as we stood by and watch Germany and Japan conquer nation after nation. The highest scoring allied ace pilot in WWI and second highest overall ace in that war was Billy Bishop a Canadian. These were all events that English Canadians did. Maybe the French Canadians are evil. In fact the French ones are because their ancestors were from France, stupid Frogs, what has France ever done? They just rolled over in WWI and WWII. But the English speaking Canadians are so much like us. As you stated we must crush the evil French Canadians or as I like to call them Frogs. So change you page to the Anti-French Canadian Page. Where we need to guard the boarder around Canada is Quebec or New York boarder.
The only "boarder" I need to protect is my own snowboarding ass, or perhaps my rent-paying roommate. I kinda have to discount the rantings of an American who can't spell "border" correctly. Oh, that and the fact that he's obviously a Canuck lover. Sheit. But wait! He had even more to say!
Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 18:35:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Richard --- [god31329@xxxxx.com]
To: nocanada@geocities.com
But stop dissin other nations like Canada, UK, Germany can be cool, so can Sweden, as well as Holland, and there are a few other countries that are pretty cool.
Then there are some that are just there like Japan, and Australia that don't bother anyone. Then there are the French who are a royal pain, and Russia can have some cool people but the country itself just sucks. So does China
What the hell is your point, Dick? Man, aren't you glad that every day isn't a Dick Day?
Date: Wed, 22 Dec 1999 19:57:22 -0500
From: Anrui [anrui@XXXX.com]
Subject: hehehe....
i'm from canada...they say i'm slow...eh?
ha. not really. if i can pass my mothers college test at 19/25 when i am 9 years old, i'm pretty sure i can pass the 8th grade (damn stupid other canadians. bah.)
well, yes i am canadian, and damned proud of it. we have our flaws, yes, but we have our good sides too. maybe. i guessss.....ah who cares really. bah! this sucks.
oh yeah, super man IS canadian, was invented by a canadian, and should be canadian, but is an american *citizen*.
do you REALLY hate canadians? Oo?
well anyways, i hope we can be friends. ^^;
buh bye.
Hey Anrui--Superman was American 'cause he had some sense. I mean, hell, wouldn't you be an American, given the choice?
Date: Sun, 26 Dec 1999 04:25:29 GMT
From: hello hello [satan54@XXXXXXX.com]
Subject: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CANADA KICKS ASS I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I TAKE DOWN YOUR CHEAP ASS WEB PAGE I'M A PISSED OFF HACKER AND THAT GOOD I WILL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO STOP MAKING FUN OF CANADIANS OR I WIL SHOW YOU THE TRUE CANDAIN
USA SUCKS ASS YOUR WEB PAGE SUCKS ASS!!!!!!!!!
Oooh! Please don't show me the true "Canadain" Mr. Pissed off hacker. I'm shitting myself now! You are such good hacker that you're using hotmail (oops, there, I said it). Wow, did you have to hack all the way through the part where it asks for your login and your password and where you live and stuff? Has the hotmail admin contacted you yet? And who's Tanner? AAAhahahahahah. Sucka...
Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2000 22:50:25 -0800Yeah, there I go again. Running "me" big mouth off again. How come Canadians are all such terrible spellers?
From: "Ann ------" <zakann@XXXXXXXXXX.net>
To: <nocanada@geocities.com>
before running you big mouth off...you should get your facts
right!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Fri, 11 Feb 2000 21:06:21 -0800
From: Josef Stalin <ussr305@XXXX.com>
Subject: i too am anti-canadian
You have a great site. Canada should have been overthrown by the USA a
long time ago. They should all bow to their American masters. I hate it
when they come to this country and wave the CANADIAN flag. It is wrong.
If they are so proud of Canada, they should go back. If you know any
other anti-canada stuff please send it to me. thanx.
Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2000 23:24:30 -0800Ah, don't mind me Duke, I'm just bitter that "Duke Nukem Forver" still hasn't come out yet. That and the fact that my Duke Nukem toy fell apart in near record time.
From: DUKE NUKEM <ussr305@XXXX.com>
Subject: good site
we gotta nuke those canadian fucks soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 21:43:25 -0500
From: FLYNN ----- <lauraflynn@XXXX.com>
Subject: Your view of Canadians
Beautiful work. Ignorant pig.
Whoa! That's a bunch of flowers delivered with a right hook, isn't it? Very terse. Sounds uptight. Frankly, the use of the term "pig" doesn't offent me much--I know I'm a pig. I'll admit to it freely.
As an aside, I wnated to go see if Ms. Flynn had any work of her own up on her host. Both her and Stalin's ISP is hard as hell to navigate through (not that mine is any treat, mind you, but mine falls short of the half-million subscribers she has). I couldn't even do a user search and it took me a long goddamned time just to find the server, 'cause it's not up at the same address. What's up with that? Further, it turns out they only get 5 megs of space. Five megs?!? I've got free accounts with more space!
For the love of God, more stinkin' mail