Henry and Chris returned soon thereafter, a pinata and bags of candy under Henry's arm. Upon spying the pinata, my spider sense was sent a-tingling, but I couldn't figure out why. The colorful clown was loaded up and hung in the garage for later enjoyment. The party cooked off and is going relatively well. Having provided a free keg, we are all fairly blotto on the nearly endless supply of beer. Henry and Chris decide that it is time to start the pinata festivities. Now, when Henry bought the pinata, he hadn't actually thought of the destructive phase of the pinata's life. Unfortunately for us all, we don't have anything that resembles a bat. So, Henry and Chris improvise a sap out of a sock and a bar of soap. Chris goofily exclaims "Homey don't play that" as he merrily swings the sap in preparation of its use.

Were I not so drunk, I would have recalled the scene from Full Metal Jacket where Gomer Pyle gets a "dry bath", but it slipped my mind at the time. Chris got blindfolded, spun around, and then set to task with the sap. It is at this point that all hell breaks loose. Chris starts swinging the sap wildly around, each swing increasing the length of the sock and the deadly arc in which it swings. In his condition, he also starts swinging around, and the soap whirls around the garage with a frightening speed and randomness. Despite everyone yelling at him to stop, Chris continues to wheel around the garage, hitting three people, the last of which was Big Dave, our most recent ex-roommate.

Dave was the last, because after being clocked in the head with a bar of soap, he leapt up and tackled Chris. The two go over, and in a very obviously barely-in-control voice Dave intones: "that is very, very bad". At this point, Chris is put to bed before a lynch mob ensues. Chris, however, does not realize the thin ice that he is skating upon, and decides to evacuate his room. On his way out, he collapses upon the coat rack, nearly violating a house rule about non-repairable damage. He is ushered to bed again, whereupon he gets up once again. It is at this point that Chris's friends have all abandoned him and have quit the party, leaving him in the care of his long-suffering girlfriend. Upon this third coming he is met by Dave, who puts him to bed for what will be the last time, with no little threat of physical violence behind it.

Chris would leave his bed one last time: to shout at ralph on the big white phone. The candy from the pinata is still being dug out from the far reaches of the garage. Nearly no one from that party returned for the New Year's party, and that party would be the last we held with Chris still in the house. Chris would live with us for another year, and constantly referred to Big Dave as "Red Shirt". Dave was not amused.