Generally, the Commandments are designed to keep the house together, prevent super-spooky things from happening, and generally bring a calming effect upon the house.

It has been asked "Well, Geoff is married, isn't this a violation of the Commandments?" It is fairly commonly agreed that the Commandments do not apply to former residents of the house. Geoff forced a ruling on this when he blantly violated the "fecal" Commandment one evening at the Mushroom. This makes sense, as the Commandments are mostly in place in order to assure house harmony. These Commandments do, however, still apply to any guest of the house while in the house confines as far as can be projected. As far as the "matriomony" rule goes, the House is sad to admit that state and federal regulations surpass the Commandments and that we are forced to honor previous marital obligations, but no matrimony will be entered into on House grounds, dammit!

The sure-fire end to the house arrangement would be the bringing of children into the mix. While this had yet to happen to anyone we knew, it was a long-standing policy of Geoff's.

Another breaker-upper. Bill's roommate the year before in the dorm had gotten married, which pretty much ended any hanging out he had been doing with Bill. Additionally, he had continued to live there, sort of. To prevent fifth-wheelism and House breakups, this clause was necessary.

Our first major party brought a near-relationship with a minor who'se age we did not know. This was deemed a Bad Thing, both relationship-wise and legally.

The shit-on-the-bed incident was still a fresh and somewhat painful memory at that point. The Commandment itself was, ironically, in violation of the Commandments, but a necessary evil. This is the only Commandment that has been effectively rescinded, as the statute of limitations on the incident has pretty much run out.

Though several House members smoked at the time, it was deemed best if it was done outside to keep the stink away from the house. Note that ganja was not considered a noxious weed.

This covered a multitutde of sins. It was primarily designed to prevent puking on the floor, but was broadened to prevent peeing off the balcony and other offenses. The term "proscribed recepticles" was from time to time hotly debated.

Again, messing with other's women was another angst-causer. As some semi-casual flirting had gone on in this vein at the first party, this was further made off-limits. The parenthetical aside was a castigation of Bill for something he had allegedly perpetrated against Roy's girlfriend.

We simply did not want to see it.

This very activity was nearly the cause of an eviction from our first apartment complex, and was also deemed somewhat unsanitary to boot.

You alone can dwell in your personal hell, and it is not the fault of anyone else. Bringing others into it unfairly causes trouble for them.

We were men, goddammit, and we were going to drink like it. It has recently been asked if this prohibited wine coolers if this was the only available alcohol. The important point is the coveting of such beverage. While most people shun cannibalism, nobody really says anything too harsh about the Donner party, do they? As long as you aren't actively seeking them out, fine.

We were men, goddammit, and we were going to drink like it.

Obviously, the immediate end of domestic tranquility, and a very real possibility at the time.

Nobody likes broken stuff, but it does happen from time to time. We decided that as long as it could be fixed, it was not non-repairable. The kitchen table had been broken, but with C-clamps and glue had been brought back to life.