Part Three

Make sure you see our Obligatory Comments on the games.

Disassociation works quite simply: each player must say something that is completely unrelated to the what the last player said and can not be related back to alcohol or sex. Any player (and in some instances, non-players) may object that the statement is somehow related to one of these three things by making a motion via the point of order and voting upon it. If the vote wins (by a simple majority), the player making the statement must drink and the game starts anew.

Disassociation sounds remarkably easy, but since the human brain excels at making connections, making no connection often proves difficult. Best played with a bunch of surly drunks.

If the motion loses, the player making the motion must drink instead and another player may, if they wish, attempt to make a better argument.

For example: Bob starts with "Schroedinger's Cat". Trish follows with "the Guggenheim museum". Henry then says "Star Trek". Charlie Bill points out that the best way to watch Star Trek is by playing "Beer Trek" which relates directly to alcohol, the motion carries and Henry drinks and is forced to pick another concept.

This game should move fairly quickly and players are not necessarily required to vote for the logic of the argument as the sentiment in some instances. If Matt had objected to the Guggenheim museum since he'd had sex there once, the motion might carry, even though no "reasonable man" would associate the Guggenheim with sex.

Mr. Smith came to us from John Guard who went to Davis, but we're not sure where it came from 'cause we've never seen or heard of it anywhere else. One of the players, usually the teacher, is "Mr. Smith", the game's taskmaster.

Mr. Smith is a bit difficult to explain at first but gets going really well after a few rounds. It's a loud game, and one that tends to scare off non-players a bit.

Whenever someone screws up, Mr. Smith should take them to task. Mr. Smith commands the offending player: "Mr. Smith says pay for screwing up!". The rest of the congregation should pound the table and chorus "PAY!". Mr. Smith is entitled to screw with the offender until such time as they finish their drink before Mr. Smith can come up with a new reason to pay: "Mr. Smith says pay for being a girl, Mr. Smith says pay for having glasses, Mr. Smith says pay for not drinking fast enough". Obviously, Mr. Smith shouldn't go too far overboard.

The game works such that Mr. Smith starts counting and points with both hands on his chest, one over the other (the left hand pointing rightwards, the right leftwards). The hand on the top is the direction the game is going and can be changed by any player. The classic "force" here is to point one way and look the other. Now to the meat of the game:

Each successive player counts from one to ten, but five and ten are special. Five is "Fuck" and on ten, the player points (with his fist, since pointing is impolite) at another player and cusses them out without using the word "fuck". The cussed out player begins again at one, thereby moving the location of the game a bit. Any player saying the wrong word, using the word "five" or "fuck" inappropriately, or otherwise screwing up is made to pay by Mr. Smith. When Mr. Smith screws up, a new Mr. Smith is picked--usually the next player in the circle, but sometimes the last player to count, depending on how the group wants to play it.

Fuzzy duck works quite simply: The first player either starts with "Fuzzy Duck" or "Ducky Fuzz".

The ultimate no-equipment, high speed drinking game. All it requires is a minimum of high-order speech processing.

This phrase goes around the circle until a player says "does he?" at which point the fuzz's and ducks reverse, as does the direction of the phrase. There are two common tongue-tiers, both of which immediately make this the kind of game not played on church picnics, or at least not unless Charlie Bill or Dave is the minister.

There is nothing to prevent the person to whom "does he?" is addressed to further reverse it by asking "does he?" in return. Anyone speaking out of turn or not replying with the correct phrase is forced to drink. The classic "force" is to turn to the next player in order and ask "does he?" This can trap both the person who is supposed to receive the reverse into missing and the person whose turn it would have been into responding, forcing two drinks.