Just a disclaimer to note that this is the Archbishop Dave Smith's reporting, not that of the Mgmt. -- the Mgmt.
Hooray! It's the results for the Peep-Off 2000 (Peep2K, Not Tooth Decay)!
There were 24 sickos that entered the contest, and not a single fatality.
I'd like to point out that the top of the Also-Rans (read "Losers") ate
enough Peeps to have won at one of the older, lesser and more amatuerish
contests. And Jesse "The Peepslayer" Hilliard, a man of largish girth and
healthy appetite, finished dead last. He choked down three of the
poisonous bastards and quit. Too smart to Peep, too fast to die. Beat by
an 8-year-old girl.
Peep-Off 2000 Results
1st: Dennis "The King" Gross - 88
2nd: Beercan Dick Hansen - 75 (including one partially chewed puked Peep)
3rd: Stephan Metalface - 65
Also Rans:
4. Jay 4-Eyes - 50
5. Hank - 45
6 (tie) Miss Vicki "The Peep Queen" & Aaron Probe - 42
7. Dylan "Dildo Licken Cocker" - 41
8. Amy Monkeybutt - 23
9. Dawna "The Fag" DeMartini - 22
10. Morgan - 21
11. Cary "Smith" - 14
12 (tie). Dave Ninja & Gina "Smith" - 11
13 (tie). Bildo Lonsdale & Natalie & Andrew Peepkiller & King Valiant - 10
14. Steve "No Explanation Required" Mar - 9
15. Samantha "Fuck you, peckerwood cocksucker" (it sounds much funnier
when she's saying it in her broken English with the heavy Japanese accent)-
6
16. Jay "Monster Truck Peepkiller" Onyskin - 5
17. Alana, Age 8 - 4
LAST. Jesse "The Peepslayer" Hilliard - 3
DID NOT FINISH:
The Archbishop Dave "Smith" = 12 Peeps Puked, DISQUALIFIED FOR BARFING
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Last update: June 1, 2000